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Have you ever felt just straight up overwhelmed with the demands of life? Me, too. The cooking, the cleaning, the sibling fights, the wife duties, the paperwork, the homeschooling, the side hustles, the laundry, the animals, the house, the field trips, the… the… Everything. The list goes on and on and on, am I right?
Now I know this is a blog on slow living. But is anyone actually immune to the busy-ness of life? We can’t escape the busy, no matter what avenue we decide to take, so I just want to help simplify processes, so we can spend more time doing what we’re called to do. We were created to do work, and lots of it at that. And being created in this current time and space, has a lot of pros and cons.
I’m not claiming to have all the answers, trust me, there’s busy weeks where I feel like I am literally drowning, can’t keep juggling all the demands, and I’m dropping balls left and right. (And then there’s other weeks where I simply do nothing extra #balance.) The wisdom here is that it’s just a busy day, a busy week, a busy season. It’s not forever, unless you choose it to be. But since you’re visiting a page called Slow Living Realist, I’m assuming you don’t want it to be forever. You want life to be slower, simpler, easier- but you also still want to do it all. Me, too. Which is how this blog was formed, honestly. I wanted to be able to follow my passion for writing, learning and all things homemaking, but I wanted it to be attainable. And then I realized after multiple conversations with my friends, that this was a common problem, and alas, Slow Living Realist was born. I know not one perfect, super human robot who is able to complete every single task on their to-do list every single day, or adheres to a strict schedule every single day without failure.
So, let’s get some perspective. After confronting the lie that you can “do it all” and “do it all well” with the truth, which is sometimes you can, and sometimes you can’t (due to things like which part of your cycle you’re in, fatigue, off-days, for you or your kids, illness, death, etc.) you need to move onto how to realistically get most of it done. This may look different for everyone, but here is my simple recipe for success.
- Only take on what you’re willing to spend time doing. I know this sounds simple, well that’s because it is. But it’s so easy to get wrapped up in people-pleasing, or helping, or free stuff, or trying to make money, or whatever, to realize that we need to say NO more often than we say YES. Especially if you have a family that relies on you for providing nourishment, comfort, and support.
- Make a list. Friends, I cannot tell you how much I love my lists. I have lists in my agenda book, lists in my phone like on the actual list app, and also lists in my notes app on my phone. Listing your top 3 items for each day also helps you realize how much you have actually done in the day. And some days are “forget the list” days and go enjoy your life, just remember that too!
- Make a schedule. A schedule could be your day split up into half hour increments. I like this for busy days, but not every day! I probably use this method 2-3 days a week. Another schedule could be weekly things you do: Mondays are for laundry, Tuesdays are for batch cooking, Wednesdays are for cleaning the floors, etc. I use this method too, but again, I’m not super strict. Sundays are reset days, Mondays tend to be food prep days, Tuesdays are free, Wednesdays are laundry and the bulk of my work days, Thursdays are I’m drowning, we’re eating leftovers days, Fridays are fun days, and Saturdays are usually a mix between fun or working on stuff in the house. Sundays, too!
- Create habits. I love audiobooks, non-fiction homeschooling, apologetics, or self-help book, romance novels, or even podcasts. I’ve created the habit of listening to an audiobook or podcast while I prep dinner or clean the kitchen. It makes it such an enjoyable task now I almost even look forward to it. Another habit that has completely changed my life is the habit of an evening reset. Every night while dinner is cooking and my prep work is done, I move onto cleaning the kitchen. This is where I fill the dishwasher, wash any pots and pans that won’t fit, clean the counters, sweep the floors, etc. I will still have to do the dishes from dinner, but it won’t be many (just what I cooked in, that usually gets hand washed, and a few plates, forks and cups. The dishwasher gets turned on every night before we go to bed and emptied every morning, so every plate, fork, cup, etc. is in its place for a new day. That does mean that for most of the day, my sink is accumulating dishes. But I feel so much freer in the decision that I will have a dirty kitchen for most of the day in order to have a large chunk of uninterrupted “listening” time during the late afternoon. Not to mention, my kids are happier because I spent a lot more time with them during the day instead of constantly loading things into the dishwasher, so they are willing to give me that time to myself, and I’m leading by example. They see me listening to a book while I work, so that’s what they do during that exact block of time. They listen to audiobooks and draw pictures, paint, or sometimes even pick up toys! (Stay tuned for our daily rhythm post and how we schedule our week)
- Be flexible. Things come up. That’s also part of life. Life isn’t just living this totally strict schedule and not being able to give up your schedule to help out a loved one. Never be so totally laser focused on your schedule, lists, and habits that you can’t walk away from it all to go be someone’s blessing. There’s plenty of days where we go to sleep with a kitchen full of dishes, dirty floors, and laundry piled up to the ceiling. But we also go to bed those nights with hearts very full of love for those we decided to spend time with, bless, or be blessed by. Life is meant to be enjoyed, just as much as it’s for work. We need to find a healthy balance with all of this, because you will feel overwhelmed if you do not take control of your intended journey. We are intentional here, not robots. Sometimes we need to get stuff done before seeing people, sometimes it’s the other way around, and that’s okay. Life isn’t fixed. It’s flexible!
- Remember it’s not a race. Be intentional. Be slow. I will repeat myself, yet again! You cannot get every single thing done. Sometimes I have to write the same to-do in my planner like 20 times before I actually get to it. That’s fine. It wasn’t in today’s “top 3”. It can wait. What is more important is not snapping at your kids because they’re in your way and you need to sweep the floor. What is more important is showing your husband that after 6 years he still gives you butterflies. What is more important is taking care of what you need for yourself at the end of each day, a good cry, a good book or a good cup of tea. What’s not important is rushing to get it all done that you forget your children are beings needing mutual respect, or putting your relationship with your husband on the backburner and being annoyed with his touch, or forgetting to take care of yourself so much that you become a hardened, distant version of someone you used to know, or falling off the front porch and twisting your ankle, or breaking your pinky toe on a piece of furniture (I’ve been known to do all of these things.. Even last week… whoops take your own advice Robin).
- Know your purpose. Earlier I mentioned doing what you were “called to do”. Now that’s different for every single person on this planet, so only you yourself will know what that is. But with that in mind, you need to prioritize that. If God leads you to bake bread and take it to your new immigrant neighbors, do it. If God calls you to go once a week to a lonely widow’s house, do it. You need to put that in your schedule too, but also be willing to drop the schedule at any moment to go and live your purpose for God.
I hope that was helpful, and thorough, without taking too much time from your life. Please feel free to comment below with anything you would add to the list of how to get most of it done, I’d love to hear!
